Deez Nuts for President: A Cautionary Tale

Deez Nuts: A Cautionary Tale
I sat down and started to write some content for the site.  I know, I know, you have all been waiting for my pontifications on public policy and politics.  It has been a busy summer, with at least 22 Presidential candidates coming to Iowa to fawn over us and beg for our support.  Well, except Hillary, who shows up in stealth mode, and sets up special invitations by lottery only.  She should probably have Mike Pace as her campaign manager, but that’s just my opinion.
americans are exceptional, american exceptionalism
As I was researching the lastest poll numbers, I kept wondering, “Who is this Deez Nuts?”  He’s polling great.  And he’s even produced a positions statement!  Holy cow!  He’s more articulate than Rick Perry, more bold than Donald Trump, and more prinicipled than Mike Huckabee!  With the added bonus, he is taking a stand on issues.  Incredible?  I wonder what his ethnic background is?  So I did a search for Deez.  Trust me, don’t.  I got an urban dictionary, and then it hit me.  This has to be some kind of crank.  So I asked my son, he fills me in that it’s some kid trying to break the internet.  (I didn’t even know it could be broken.  I mean, what would happen to politics if the internet broke?  All those politicians would be banging on my door like Sen. Brad Zaun.  I like Sen. Zaun, but I’m not too sure about Bernie.)
So I looked again at the polls.  The polls was one poll, out of North Carolina, and broadcast around the world by all the major news outlets.  They did what I did, but they have much better interns.  Turns out, my son was right.  A 15 year old high school student named Brady Olson took his cue from another fake candidate, and thought he could pull off his stunt.  More power to you, my man.
I think this is a good teaching moment.  There are 22 candidates that I know of in the Presidential race, and Deez Nuts, a fake candidate who shows real potential, is outpolling 18 of them.  As far as numbers in three states, (NC, MN, IA) he is behind Trump, Hillary, Carson, and Bernie.  But he is ahead of everyone else.  Keep in mind, this is a 15 year old kid who understands the power of the internet.  He’s no community organizer, but given his lack of funding, he is beating people who have spend MILLIONS getting their message out.  This includes powerhouses like Mike Huckabee and Rick Perry.  The internet is powerful, and messaging is everything.  Understanding the internet has been a major problem for Republicans ever since Al Gore invented it.  I personally think it’s a vast Left Wing Conspiracy, but the bottom line is Republicans have ignored the internet’s power, and it seems we are always an election cycle behind.  It’s time for the Republicans to recruit young turks to run their internet messaging and programming.
The second lesson here is you can’t trust polls.  Ever.  For any reason.  Romney and most Republicans thought he had Obama beat.  That was wrong.  Although, to be fair, the Dems had several dead people voting, along with several multivotes, but since that never exists in the Democratic mind, then it must be that the polls were wrong.  Polling takes some people, maybe 1000 if it’s a great and respected poll with a lot of money, but sometimes it’s just 125 people.  Through the magic of statistics and pixie dust, these pollsters extrapolate what the rest of America would do.  It’s kind of like dropping a grain of sand on a beach to determine which way the waves are rolling.  As you can see, most of these polls truly are meaningless.  Do you think the average American really wants a blow hard like Trump with his finger on the nuclear button?  Or someone so inaccessible that you have to win the lottery to see her?  I don’t think so either.
And the last lesson from this that both sides better pay attention to:  the American people are fed up and tuning out.  Until the parties start supporting the will of the people and not protecting their power, you will have candidates like Trump and Bernie upsetting the apple cart.  The truth is, both are Napoleon, feeding at the table with the humans.  Neither party is even listening to what average Americans are telling them.  Most Americans are pretty savvy and smart.  They know that GE getting a billion dollars every year from the government, and not paying any taxes since Obama took office, is wrong.  Guess who gives billions to the Democrats and Obama?  You got it.  GE and it’s CEO Immelt.  The Democrats don’t even talk about term limits or reduction of government.  At least the Republicans do.
A corollary to this is Rep. David Young.  One of his first appearances was out at Jalapeno Pete’s at a Republican fundraiser.  When pressed why he wouldn’t support term limits, he said, “I know how Washington works.  And I’ll be using my knowledge to help Iowans.”  Great.  You know Washington, so you won’t support term limits.  Good way to listen to the people.  He never did well after that.  This is Sen. Grassley’s right hand man for years!  He couldn’t get donations, he couldn’t build support.  But he is now 3rd CD’s representative, through his knowledge of how Washington works.  He got there through back door dealings and betrayal.  No wonder the Democrats think he is a weak candidate and a great target for the next election cycle.  He’s going to be primaried, I promise.
Hopefully we can all learn from Deez Nuts.  Look at the numbers, don’t trust them, and do what the people demand.
J. Patrick Bertroche, DO